A Stay At Home Single Mother-- Warning: RANT

I am tired of many things. I am tired of people thinking that being a Mom is not a job. I am tired of people thinking that being a Student isn't hard. Most of all, I am tired of people who only do one or the other, or work, thinking that doing all three is no big deal.. and then add a relationship to it

I just finished my first year of school out of, supposedly, three. I am getting my Bachelor's in Business Management with an Emphasis in Human Resources and a minor in Writing. I am going to Globe University which is an online college based out of the MN, School of Business. I am also a stay at home mother, who is single right now though my daughter and I still live in the same home as her father, whom the 7 year relationship between us ended in August.

First off, being a full time student is hard, even online. I have to be a full time student for my FAFSA to pay off my schooling, or at least most of it. Then, there is being a mother. Something very important to me. Right now my daughter is turning five in January and then will start school next November if I got everything correct. Until then, she is at home with me doing her pre-k stuff here at home.

Being single can be lonely. Especially when you watch your ex, who you are still friends with and care about (in a loving way but not a relationship way) start his second relationship since you have been broken up. And this time, really be happy. I am even friends with the girl, and she is great.  But yes, I can get lonely. Now, my original plan was to stay single and jobless unless I finished school in 2017. The school helps you find a good paying job based off of your degree and everything. Not to mention, I figured being in school full time would take away from me being in a relationship and giving that my full attention.. so single I stay.

Then I decided that maybe I will at least get a part time job when Abbi starts school. That way I can do it during the day while she is at school and get to be with her here at night, do our homework together, play with each other and I can put her to bed.

My ex though, was talking to me the other day because although I have reasons for staying single, I do tend to complain that I hate not having anybody. Anyway, he said to find someone while I am in school because it is perfect time to find someone who wont mind me doing something important to me. So I said "oh yeah, that is a turn on. Hi there, not only do I have a five year old child but I am also a student full time, if you want to do anything you will have to pay." So that started up his argument about getting a job. I don't think that actually helps the relationship thing any. He might go to work and have a relationship and find time to spend with his daughter, but he isnt a student. Can you imagine? Going to school full time and needing to set time aside for work, going to work even part time especially right now when my daughter is home all day, then finding time to actually spend with her and then trying to fit in a relationship too? It just doesnt work.

I am tired of having the argument that I can be a mom, be in a relationship, go to school, and go to work all at the same time. Some people can do it and damn bravo to them. But right now, it does not suit me. I can not do it because I tend to focus on one thing more then the other and juggling two things right now is a hell of a lot better then juggling three or four. I am trying to better myself..why can no one understand that? I guess it just makes me lazy or stupid. That is what I have heard before.

I will figure it out.

This is just a rant.